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Wednesday, August 8, 2012

If You ever find yourself in a squad with Michael Biehn as squad leader...




 If you find yourself in a squad of soldiers in the late 80's through the 90's with Michael Biehn as your squad leader, run far away. This guy will make you dead real quick.

As Hicks in Aliens, the squad loses half their team before they even give him a chance at command. Then after most of the group's dead, he escapes with life-threatening, but stable, injuries.

only to drown in a hyper-sleep chamber between sequels. The writers must have hated him. I remember they gave him a two-second shot of his body under a bag in a badly lit space craft. "GAME OVER!"

That or he read the script for 3 and was all:

Ripley shaves her head, thus making her somehow more masculine then before, and the prisoners want to rape her”

"EAT THIS!" 


In The Terminator, as Kyle Reese, he goes back in time, finds the time to boink his leaders', damn near messiahs', mom to make his own future hero to believe in.

Come IN me if you wanna live?

 I know its weird to think, but I’m sure Sara was like:

"oh thanks cause that’s what we need with a relentless kill bot searching the city for us, unplanned pregnancy."

The Rock is the icing on the cake. The team drops from a helicopter all with their own personal drone sub- maneuvering under the water coming out looking all seal team six, then between sneezes the squad is dead leaving us to the stylings of Nick Cage and Sean Connery. 

That's what a shit head is, Ramirez. Whoever thought this was a good idea...

Oh and a photo of him from The Terminator was the original representation of snake from Metal Gear. The man (Solid Snake) is literally a "squad" killing machine, due to the fox dye, a virus made to kill other cloned soldiers, whether they're on his side or not, and eventually himself.

Seriously, who keeps putting this guy in charge?!





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